eads of sweat slowly rolled down his chin as he looked out through the waves of heat obscuring the yellow desert dunes. His face was set grimly as he prepared for the next onslaught, directing skillfully his men of war. Then they came, hundreds of ragged peasants, wielding implements of destruction, boiling out of the mounds of scorching sand, screaming as they ran the name of their pagan master.

Secretary of Defense Donny Rumsfeld nodded and with practiced precision his men moved; the staccato of small arms fire, accompanied by the booming thunder of heavy artillery filled the air, as huge monsters of iron and steel and well-disciplined foot soldiers fired into the onrushing mass of the enemy. From the sky, flying machines rained destruction down upon the helpless rabble, the sound of powerful engines all but masking their tortured screams. In seconds it was over, the burning sands now red with the fresh blood of the dead, the air hazy and smelling of gun powder. Hundreds of mutilated bodies littered the desert, some alive and screaming as rich, red blood gushed from stumps that once were limbs. Most were lucky, unable to feel their grisly wounds, for they were dead.

Rumsfeld smiled, another victory won for his nation, another band of knife weilding scum eliminated. Another threat to democracy destroyed. Once more the ethics and morals of our wonderful, democratic nation have been successfully advanced. Once more American justice has been enforced on those who know nothing of justice or equality; resistance has been quelled as Rumsfeld smote with unbridled fury the enemies of the state. Ah, yes, what better way to advance the notion of free will than to slaughter those who oppose it?

"Yes, indeed," mused Rumsfeld, "once more, I have gone above and beyond the call of duty to protect democracy everywhere from those who so foolishly threaten its ideals." He stood proudly, surveying the land and the destruction that was his doing, carrying on his shoulders the honor of the United States, upholding America's reputation as a hegemon, a great leader among nations, following orders to help when asked, protecting the innocent and slaughtering the helpless. If America was an iron fist, then Rumsfeld was the weighted glove that covered it, aiding in its advancement and smashing through those that stand in the way of democratic advancement.

Rumsfeld awoke, back in his bed, back in his room. No more sand, no more tanks, no more denizens of the desert. He took his thumb out of his mouth and smiled. What a pleasant dream. He hugged Teddy closer and closed his eyes. Soon he was sleeping once more. Safe at home, secure in his knowledge that freedom would be free for many years to come.




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