f you are easily offended, go play somewhere else. This is my venting ground. I don't force you to read this crap. I don't get off on exposing children to profanity and the like. I don't come to your house, pry your eyes open Clockwork Orange-style and make you sound out the words like a big boy. No, you had to come to me. You came on your own. If you came here by accident, and begin to read one of my entries by accident, and it offends you: stop reading. I don't want any inane emails telling me how stupid and moronic you may think me. Because you know what? I am a genius. Yes, that's right, a fucking genius. In fact, I know most everything there is to know. Anything I don't know probably isn't worth knowing anyway. If you think you know something I don't know, you are wrong: I already know it, because, as I told you, I am a genius.


Biography

I wrote a bit about myself here. If you care. Probably not. I don't. But should you care, you can look here. I will tell you this, though: As you can see from my picture, I am exceptionally good looking and have impeccable taste in clothing and eyewear. In fact, I was waking down the street today and a white car drove by. From the window, some chick yelled, "you turn me on!" I know, baby, I know. Can't help it really. It would be a curse, except it's not. (True story. Don't believe me? Take a gander at my pic once more).

Last Updated: 7/17/03

Random Rants

I like to complain. And rant. And rave. You don't think I'm funny though? Boo hoo. Well, I'm not writing for you. I am writing for me, this is how I get my rocks off. And guess what, I think I am hilarious. I can sit for hours, alone in my room just thinking up new jokes and telling them to myself. Boy, are they funny jokes. Sometimes I will go to google and search for "shit that PD thinks is funny". And there's my page, right at the top. Google rating: 100% funny. Then I come here and I begin to browse. "Wow," I think aloud, "this shit is pretty damn funny. Hilarious even; I wonder who wrote it... Oh, wait, it was me."

Last Updated: 09/15/05

Story Corner

I like stories. Who doesn't? I remember when I was young I would read stories. Now I write them. I like writing stories nearly as much as I like making and gazing upon pirate themed artwork. Really short story this time. Something from the heart; I don't do this often, so soak it up. Don't worry, club soda will take the stain right out. Yeah. Pirates. Fuck.

Last Updated: 05/05/05

Funny Jokes

I enjoy laughing. Ha ha. Doesn't everyone? Some enjoy laughing at the pain others suffer. Some enjoy laughing at mindless nonsense. But the most fulfilling humor is humor which induces thought. The kind of humor that you understand because you are educated but others cannot possibly comprehend. Then you laugh again, at those left in the dark. Then they laugh at you, because you are laughing for no apparent reason. You're crazy. Good. Maybe you'll like these jokes then.

Last Updated: 11/08/04

Picture Gallery

Here I have a collection of some very nice pirate themed artwork. Most of these, surprisingly, I did myself, I do accept submissions however. I also accept commissions, so if you are interested in having a bit of personalized pirate themed artwork contact me. I work in all mediums except clay. Clay dries my hands out no end.

Last Updated: 7/17/03




Copyright © 2003

1