wo adventurers are exploring a jungle notorious for its tribes of headhunters in the heart of Africa. After days of machete'ing their way through creeping vines and hanging shubberies to the sound of a myriad of wild animals, the two are captured by a roving band of tribal warriors. The warriors take the adventurers back to their village and present them to the chief.
"You are trespassing on our holy land," the chief tells the frightened adventurers sternly, but in perfect English. "For this there is but one punishment: Death... or Kumba. Actually, that's two, but you must choose one of those two." Pointing an ornate spear at the first explorer, the chief asks solemnly: "Which do you choose? Death... or Kumba?"
Thinking a moment the first failed-Indian-wannabe responds, "Anything is better than death, I choose Kumba."
The chief raise his arms and shouts at the top of his voice: "KOOOOMBA!!" At this, the tribe, who has by now gathered around the captives begins making quite a bit of noise, cheering and making that weird undulating battle cry that Xena the Warrior Princess does. From the crowd step twenty of the tribe's biggest, strongest, meanest, nastiest, ugliest warriors. Two of these natives hold the man while the others savagely fuck him in the ass. When they finish, the man is released into the jungle.
Now, the chief turns to the second explorer. "Now, you, too, must choose: Death... or Kumba."
The remaining explorer is a bit of a homophobe. He would rather die than live knowing that his poop chute had been violated by a bunch of burly aborigines. "I choose death," he tells the chief, hands on hips defiantly.
The chief raises his arms once more and shouts: "Death by KOOOOMBA!"
Copyright © 2003